1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
"Hey Bubba,
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside."
"Cooter"
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How to install a security system in the South
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How to install a security system in the South
David
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"No matter where you go... there you are!"
Buckaroo Banzai
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.' "
----------------
"No matter where you go... there you are!"
Buckaroo Banzai
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.' "